so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
