You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
