Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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