please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
