Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
