It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
