We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
