I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
