im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
