there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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