idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
