I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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