But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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