Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
