I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize