Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Panties = found
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
