she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
