One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
