You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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