I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
