I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You're like the curious george of whores
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Let's get the cat blown out
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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