you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
