Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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