know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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