Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
