All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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