Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
we're so committed to being not committed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
