No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize