I want to stick my p in your. b.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
