my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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