So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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