Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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