Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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