I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
