hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
