He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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