so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I will pee on everything he values.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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