I think my fart just growled at me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
