I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize