My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
