I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
