I will die if light touches me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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