Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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