I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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