I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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