she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
