Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
