You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The adults are the big ones right?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
