i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
