Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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