Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
