I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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