he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
