Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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