my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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