your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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