I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
well I can't set my house on fire every night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
