This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
