I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
