Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
