I bet he comes in French.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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